🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?